








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 703 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 548 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7329 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,304 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4331 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3971 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4842 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4160 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,395,106 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1541 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | love | 86% | 297 |
| #2 | Phanatic | 85% | 376 |
| #3 | sigma | 85% | 141 |
| #4 | GIZMO | 84% | 398 |
| #5 | MONTANA | 83% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GIZMO | 62 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | Phanatic | 51 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | JHR | 12 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | sigma | 11 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | love | 8 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GIZMO | 1234 | 0.18 | 38 min |
| #2 | Phanatic | 734 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #3 | goober | 530 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #4 | JHR | 385 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | love | 359 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MONTANA | +6.38 | 94 | 76 |
| #2 | GIZMO | +6.11 | 92 | 72 |
| #3 | Phanatic | +5.20 | 96 | 60 |
| #4 | goober | +4.36 | 96 | 68 |
| #5 | love | +4.22 | 96 | 54 |





