








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 830 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 686 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8515 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,172 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18065 | 43% |
| Smokes | 10756 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6005 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 7346 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $980,701 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1046 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | e3hqs | 55% | 84 |
| #2 | 4/\/[)|23\v/ | 54% | 150 |
| #3 | dracbuci. | 52% | 77 |
| #4 | K1ng | 50% | 131 |
| #5 | Decrypt | 48% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 4/\/[)|23\v/ | 54% | 150 |
| #3 | dracbuci. | 52% | 77 |
| #4 | K1ng | 50% | 131 |
| #5 | Decrypt | 48% | 63 |
| #6 | Dralen. | 46% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K1ng | 42 | 0.0154 |
| #2 | Dralen. | 22 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | Decrypt | 15 | 0.0111 |
| #4 | 4/\/[)|23\v/ | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | dracbuci. | 7 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dralen. | 365 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | 4/\/[)|23\v/ | 306 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | K1ng | 286 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | e3hqs | 245 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | dracbuci. | 130 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eduwuard. | +2.57 | 76 | 72 |
| #2 | Decrypt | +0.80 | 65 | 47 |
| #3 | 4/\/[)|23\v/ | -0.43 | 59 | 62 |
| #4 | K1ng | -1.72 | 57 | 50 |
| #5 | dracbuci. | -1.74 | 67 | 49 |





