








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1630 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,124 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2238 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1967 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1454 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1465 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $625,573 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChokenBea$T | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | Eduwuard. | 55% | 84 |
| #3 | 4/\/[)|23\v/ | 51% | 203 |
| #4 | dracbuci. | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | K1ng | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChokenBea$T | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | Eduwuard. | 55% | 84 |
| #3 | 4/\/[)|23\v/ | 51% | 203 |
| #4 | dracbuci. | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | K1ng | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4/\/[)|23\v/ | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Eduwuard. | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | K1ng | 6 | 0.0117 |
| #4 | dracbuci. | 2 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eduwuard. | 811 | 0.45 | 21 min |
| #2 | 4/\/[)|23\v/ | 333 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | K1ng | 35 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | dracbuci. | 31 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | ChokenBea$T | 24 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eduwuard. | +4.06 | 69 | 73 |
| #2 | ChokenBea$T | +1.25 | 79 | 62 |
| #3 | 4/\/[)|23\v/ | +0.25 | 58 | 59 |
| #4 | K1ng | -0.97 | 65 | 51 |
| #5 | e3hqs | -1.15 | 48 | 59 |





