








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 248 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2312 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,042 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1957 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1574 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1939 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1572 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $950,397 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 657 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dralen. | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | dracbuci. | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | Eduwuard. | 50% | 131 |
| #4 | AleKs® | 48% | 81 |
| #5 | 4/\/[)|23\v/ | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Decrypt | 54 | 0.0150 |
| #2 | Eduwuard. | 29 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | AleKs® | 12 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | 4/\/[)|23\v/ | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | dracbuci. | 3 | 0.0038 |





