








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
950 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,596 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1007 | 28% |
| Smokes | 907 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1126 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 556 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $309,615 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quezillion | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | 黝堊の祈り | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | r0ck | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | Zacatel | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | Drip Drop | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Drip Drop | 40% | 40 |
| #6 | gekiai | 39% | 23 |
| #7 | Arlind | 36% | 28 |
| #8 | Shadow Wizard Money Gang | 35% | 17 |
| #9 | ArtfulDodger | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gekiai | 5 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | Zacatel | 4 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | Shadow Wizard Money Gang | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Arlind | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drip Drop | 74 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | gekiai | 68 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | Arlind | 50 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Zacatel | 47 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Quezillion | 41 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 黝堊の祈り | +5.83 | 85 | 58 |
| #2 | Quezillion | +5.82 | 78 | 81 |
| #3 | ArtfulDodger | +5.57 | 79 | 83 |
| #4 | gekiai | +4.87 | 81 | 59 |
| #5 | r0ck | +4.28 | 78 | 72 |





