








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1031 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,538 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 920 | 36% |
| Smokes | 609 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 637 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 372 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $169,045 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | najyiii | 55% | 78 |
| #2 | zekA | 55% | 84 |
| #3 | devil's eye | 54% | 63 |
| #4 | Kylian Mbappé | 39% | 28 |
| #5 | CRX | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | najyiii | 55% | 78 |
| #2 | zekA | 55% | 84 |
| #3 | devil's eye | 54% | 63 |
| #4 | Kylian Mbappé | 39% | 28 |
| #5 | CRX | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zekA | 21 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | najyiii | 16 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | devil's eye | 8 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Kylian Mbappé | 7 | 0.0130 |
| #5 | CRX | 3 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zekA | 313 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | devil's eye | 266 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | najyiii | 193 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | CRX | 80 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kylian Mbappé | 74 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zekA | +5.87 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | _MANOTO_PEEK_ PE YT | +0.86 | 64 | 54 |
| #3 | devil's eye | +0.56 | 78 | 58 |
| #4 | najyiii | -2.36 | 48 | 49 |
| #5 | CRX | -4.28 | 32 | 42 |





