








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 964 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Faceit | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Wingman | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




96 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8238 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8416 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5521 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6363 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4284 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,098,010 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | devil's eye | 1098 | 0.21 | 23 min |
| #2 | najyiii | 664 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | CRX | 263 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | _MANOTO_PEEK_ PE YT | 237 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | Kylian Mbappé | 219 | 0.11 | 4 min |





