








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1430 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,046 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2475 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2099 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1452 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2020 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $612,160 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Lakhwinder | 38% | 24 |
| #9 | Daddy Rat | 36% | 25 |
| #10 | Amylase | 32% | 19 |
| #11 | poTt | 31% | 13 |
| #12 | LT | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mark | 19 | 0.0382 |
| #2 | guppy_gamer489 | 14 | 0.0200 |
| #3 | Abatukam | 11 | 0.0139 |
| #4 | Stuff my Oreo | 8 | 0.0128 |
| #5 | Amylase | 7 | 0.0187 |





