








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 118 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2748 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,942 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1606 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1300 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1260 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 776 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $735,313 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | morgan wallen | 62% | 68 |
| #2 | dpz | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | snakkes -iwnl- | 56% | 86 |
| #4 | larst | 55% | 56 |
| #5 | Truls789 | 55% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snakkes -iwnl- | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | morgan wallen | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Albertpro | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | larst | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snakkes -iwnl- | 319 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | morgan wallen | 131 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | apoLLo | 102 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Albertpro | 97 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | larst | 87 | 0.09 | 2 min |





