








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 657 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 19 | 3% |
| Smokes | 135 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 153 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 350 | 53% |
Our logs show you have wasted $170,959 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Straat-Kat | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | Rainƒall | 41% | 73 |
| #3 | Speedwobble | 41% | 83 |
| #4 | (Pandabang) ✞FR3D5T3R✞ | 39% | 87 |
| #5 | Colt.45 | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Rainƒall | 41% | 73 |
| #3 | Speedwobble | 41% | 83 |
| #4 | (Pandabang) ✞FR3D5T3R✞ | 39% | 87 |
| #5 | Colt.45 | 38% | 8 |
| #6 | BOT Alexei | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (Pandabang) ✞FR3D5T3R✞ | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Speedwobble | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (Pandabang) ✞FR3D5T3R✞ | 219 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Speedwobble | 93 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | BOT Alexei | 21 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Colt.45 | 12 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Straat-Kat | 10 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Speedwobble | +1.21 | 77 | 59 |
| #2 | Rainƒall | +1.05 | 41 | 18 |
| #3 | Straat-Kat | -0.40 | 36 | 65 |
| #4 | BOT Alexei | -0.46 | 50 | 60 |
| #5 | (Pandabang) ✞FR3D5T3R✞ | -0.77 | 44 | 72 |





