








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
845 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,687 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 952 | 56% |
| Smokes | 272 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 191 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 272 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $127,266 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weaponized_COVID-19 | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | CieL | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | TM Opera O | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | Crissa | 45% | 22 |
| #5 | 叫んだ | 43% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 叫んだ | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Skadi | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | TM Opera O | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | CieL | 1 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Shiro | 1 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 叫んだ | 150 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Crissa | 92 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | Skadi | 34 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | CieL | 33 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | TM Opera O | 24 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weaponized_COVID-19 | +4.19 | 68 | 51 |
| #2 | Skadi | +2.94 | 90 | 45 |
| #3 | Crissa | +2.36 | 63 | 58 |
| #4 | TM Opera O | +2.18 | 94 | 55 |
| #5 | Shiro | +1.68 | 47 | 57 |





