










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
29 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 148 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 69 | 47% |
| Smokes | 25 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 28 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 26 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $21,800 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kima | 33% | 3 |
| #2 | bố mày | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | kraken | 33% | 3 |
| #4 | Killzs | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | Joker | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | kraken | 33% | 3 |
| #4 | Killzs | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | Joker | 20% | 5 |
| #6 | EMTED | 17% | 6 |
| #7 | N3g3v Doge | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N3g3v Doge | 41 | 0.34 | 1 min |
| #2 | Killzs | 15 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| #3 | EMTED | 12 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | Kima | 9 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #5 | Joker | 8 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Killzs | +8.87 | 66 | 55 |
| #2 | Joker | +1.12 | 29 | 65 |
| #3 | bố mày | +0.01 | 64 | 56 |
| #4 | Kima | -2.26 | 43 | 75 |
| #5 | EMTED | -2.46 | 39 | 56 |





