








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 897 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 198 matches | ||
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Esplay | 24 matches | 2,104 | |
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4982 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,953 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5329 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3775 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5792 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5057 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $895,530 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 244 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ĐєηηєR ♥ | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | aksuq | 65% | 62 |
| #3 | 14 avg animal | 64% | 25 |
| #4 | JAAKOPP | 61% | 84 |
| #5 | aso | 59% | 231 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | osk | 56% | 66 |
| #8 | ✪Bonzo✪ | 56% | 52 |
| #9 | japey | 56% | 45 |
| #10 | Jbooh | 55% | 29 |
| #11 | Daddy Weston | 47% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | japey | 6 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | JAAKOPP | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | aso | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | osk | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Daddy Weston | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aso | 503 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #2 | Snowman | 474 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #3 | JAAKOPP | 301 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | osk | 147 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | japey | 128 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jbooh | +1.44 | 74 | 65 |
| #2 | Repalena | +1.35 | 77 | 73 |
| #3 | aso | +1.13 | 89 | 59 |
| #4 | ✪Bonzo✪ | +1.11 | 78 | 66 |
| #5 | ĐєηηєR ♥ | +0.89 | 88 | 73 |





