








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
263 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 926 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 238 | 26% |
| Smokes | 300 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 184 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 204 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $58,852 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlockHead | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | kwad- | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | McDinggle | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | PizuK.- | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | . | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | aGGravated | 50% | 2 |
| #10 | -T3- | 50% | 2 |
| #11 | Kohla | 33% | 6 |
| #12 | nick | 0% | 2 |
| #13 | BaBa YaGa | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aGGravated | 1 | 0.0500 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TyBoltz 乡 | 39 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #2 | BlockHead | 23 | 0.49 | 0 min |
| #3 | omar | 11 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | Pingu | 11 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | kwad- | 10 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McDinggle | +3.71 | 86 | 58 |
| #2 | -T3- | +3.14 | 80 | 52 |
| #3 | Kohla | +2.43 | 96 | 61 |
| #4 | emir | +2.17 | 85 | 63 |
| #5 | TyBoltz 乡 | +0.70 | 96 | 63 |





