








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
367 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,207 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 360 | 30% |
| Smokes | 342 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 149 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 356 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $135,555 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 189 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kwad- | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | emir | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | -T3- | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | McDinggle | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | Arkel | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kwad- | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | emir | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | -T3- | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | McDinggle | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | Arkel | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emir | 1 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McDinggle | 35 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #2 | kwad- | 19 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #3 | -T3- | 15 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #4 | emir | 13 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | Arkel | 10 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emir | +5.09 | 89 | 49 |
| #2 | -T3- | +1.54 | 90 | 53 |
| #3 | McDinggle | +0.82 | 87 | 58 |
| #4 | kwad- | +0.63 | 89 | 43 |
| #5 | Pingu | -1.74 | 66 | 52 |





