








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 23 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
309 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,139 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 350 | 31% |
| Smokes | 356 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 177 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 256 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $55,718 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rocky | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | moOoca | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | soulyy^ | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | SOULM8 | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | emir | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | omar | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | . | 38% | 8 |
| #10 | Kohla | 13% | 8 |
| #11 | PokemoN | 0% | 2 |
| #12 | fred again <3 | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | . | 36 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #2 | moOoca | 23 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| #3 | Bloody | 22 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | emir | 18 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | SOULM8 | 14 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rocky | +7.17 | 77 | 58 |
| #2 | moOoca | +5.07 | 51 | 73 |
| #3 | Bloody | +4.83 | 74 | 59 |
| #4 | soulyy^ | +3.00 | 75 | 52 |
| #5 | SOULM8 | +2.88 | 98 | 61 |





