








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 510 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 528 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5848 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,228 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2674 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3498 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3327 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3729 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,233,072 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yyy | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | smily | 59% | 119 |
| #3 | Armagetron | 55% | 67 |
| #4 | Obda | 54% | 50 |
| #5 | NuggeT² | 53% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | smily | 59% | 119 |
| #3 | Armagetron | 55% | 67 |
| #4 | Obda | 54% | 50 |
| #5 | NuggeT² | 53% | 168 |
| #6 | JoniBoni | 52% | 434 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoniBoni | 13 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | NuggeT² | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | smily | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Obda | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | yyy | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoniBoni | 747 | 0.08 | 23 min |
| #2 | NuggeT² | 498 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Obda | 161 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | smily | 80 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Armagetron | 68 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yyy | +3.02 | 86 | 55 |
| #2 | JoniBoni | +1.04 | 69 | 57 |
| #3 | F̶O̶X̶ ̶ | +0.14 | 67 | 54 |
| #4 | smily | -0.06 | 74 | 44 |
| #5 | Obda | -0.68 | 56 | 62 |





