








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 882 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 485 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3802 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,538 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3514 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3783 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4225 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3016 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,236,229 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 515 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | pk =) | 39% | 33 |
| #9 | ✪K!LLSWITCHⱭ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝ | 39% | 46 |
| #10 | Wuchtel | 39% | 49 |
| #11 | Schnitzler | 36% | 28 |
| #12 | NAJA | 34% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪K!LLSWITCHⱭ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝ | 212 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #2 | Wuchtel | 139 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | phiL | 130 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Schnitzler | 99 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | pk =) | 95 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CoRe | +2.64 | 90 | 66 |
| #2 | NAJA | +2.40 | 77 | 73 |
| #3 | pk =) | +2.31 | 61 | 70 |
| #4 | Wuchtel | +0.52 | 70 | 61 |
| #5 | Sn1ce_tv | +0.43 | 48 | 56 |





