








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
903 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,096 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1658 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1663 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 878 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 897 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $311,120 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sulaymān | 86% | 14 |
| #2 | Costel Biju | 64% | 47 |
| #3 | spaniel69 | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | Papi aka Papito | 62% | 21 |
| #5 | 【死】all3x | 58% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OmuMewTraiBubbaTünde | 109 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | Costel Biju | 81 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | 【死】all3x | 70 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Dildo | 43 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Papi aka Papito | 39 | 0.10 | 1 min |





