








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 658 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 113 matches | 1,870 | |
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,741 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2303 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2798 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1589 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2051 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,044,816 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 282 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Axzin | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Z3RO | 53% | 123 |
| #3 | NotThRealBob | 53% | 40 |
| #4 | Hans Holmér | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | Wardoq | 48% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Z3RO | 53% | 123 |
| #3 | NotThRealBob | 53% | 40 |
| #4 | Hans Holmér | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | Wardoq | 48% | 65 |
| #6 | Zonkarr | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z3RO | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Wardoq | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Hans Holmér | 3 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | Zonkarr | 3 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | NotThRealBob | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z3RO | 304 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | Wardoq | 163 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Zonkarr | 70 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | Axzin | 63 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | NotThRealBob | 52 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Axzin | +5.23 | 92 | 62 |
| #2 | Wardoq | +1.97 | 72 | 65 |
| #3 | Buster Cherry | +1.71 | 70 | 56 |
| #4 | Z3RO | +0.26 | 66 | 63 |
| #5 | Zonkarr | -2.97 | 14 | 50 |





