








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 346 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Esplay | 40 matches | 1,940 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2521 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,094 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1938 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3138 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2209 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2809 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $421,125 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Axzin | 53% | 30 |
| #2 | Laserturken | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | DemonF1re | 52% | 102 |
| #4 | SnappE | 48% | 27 |
| #5 | Buster Cherry | 48% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Buster Cherry | 48% | 65 |
| #6 | NotThRealBob | 46% | 24 |
| #7 | Z3RO | 44% | 81 |
| #8 | Zonkarr | 44% | 43 |
| #9 | Gong1t | 42% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DemonF1re | 13 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Z3RO | 13 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | SnappE | 8 | 0.0153 |
| #4 | Buster Cherry | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Laserturken | 6 | 0.0152 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DemonF1re | 443 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #2 | Z3RO | 191 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Zonkarr | 157 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | Buster Cherry | 140 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Gong1t | 104 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Axzin | +3.41 | 90 | 64 |
| #2 | DemonF1re | +1.84 | 67 | 74 |
| #3 | Wardoq | +1.66 | 68 | 64 |
| #4 | Buster Cherry | +1.32 | 75 | 55 |
| #5 | SnappE | -0.69 | 71 | 48 |





