








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 123 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1550 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,970 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2099 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2599 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1431 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1841 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $245,307 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Misato Never Misito_2 | 46% | 104 |
| #8 | wwwavey | 44% | 36 |
| #9 | shmi11sen | 41% | 51 |
| #10 | fk7 | 41% | 71 |
| #11 | Dr. Manhattan | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aino991 | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | shmi11sen | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | AFAJA #FreeRxxnye | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | SurB | 2 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | n9v9rm!nd | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Misato Never Misito_2 | 219 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | shmi11sen | 102 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | aino991 | 100 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | wwwavey | 87 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | fk7 | 85 | 0.05 | 2 min |





