








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 11 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
106 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 504 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 205 | 41% |
| Smokes | 126 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 59 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 114 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $20,133 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ehgren | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | zenta | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | JoeSKI | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | Fizzy | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | Cher1on | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ehgren | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | zenta | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | JoeSKI | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | Fizzy | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | Cher1on | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fizzy | 26 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | Cher1on | 18 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #3 | Ehgren | 11 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| #4 | JoeSKI | 9 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | zenta | 1 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fizzy | +3.60 | 92 | 79 |
| #2 | zenta | +3.51 | 59 | 59 |
| #3 | Konala | +0.91 | 81 | 75 |
| #4 | JoeSKI | +0.18 | 81 | 80 |
| #5 | Cher1on | -1.08 | 84 | 63 |





