








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 41 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
702 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,398 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 546 | 23% |
| Smokes | 741 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 519 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 592 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $140,586 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StraXter | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | Berlin | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Konala | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | JoeSKI | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Fizzy | 57% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Berlin | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Konala | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | JoeSKI | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Fizzy | 57% | 21 |
| #6 | muciek | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fizzy | 111 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #2 | Konala | 21 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | StraXter | 11 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | JoeSKI | 10 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | muciek | 7 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muciek | +1.86 | 78 | 63 |
| #2 | Cher1on | +1.41 | 72 | 69 |
| #3 | Berlin | +1.03 | 88 | 51 |
| #4 | Konala | +0.56 | 87 | 74 |
| #5 | Fizzy | -0.09 | 87 | 72 |





