








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 714 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 372 matches | ||
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5598 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,319 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2892 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3550 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3815 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4062 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,879,322 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 327 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gandhøe | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | Totoro4346#8299 | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | Birdsong | 58% | 137 |
| #4 | RicoMynne | 58% | 31 |
| #5 | -R0xy- | 58% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | iP_ | 56% | 72 |
| #8 | Chairface | 55% | 177 |
| #9 | ✪ R!pper | | 53% | 126 |
| #10 | NuggetGuardian | 52% | 298 |
| #11 | -Trash | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NuggetGuardian | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Pautos | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | iP_ | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | -R0xy- | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Birdsong | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NuggetGuardian | 767 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | Pautos | 716 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #3 | Chairface | 699 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #4 | Birdsong | 293 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | -R0xy- | 217 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pautos | +3.07 | 81 | 72 |
| #2 | RicoMynne | +1.90 | 77 | 69 |
| #3 | iP_ | +1.63 | 50 | 76 |
| #4 | Birdsong | +0.58 | 56 | 69 |
| #5 | (ง •`_´•)ง | +0.12 | 62 | 55 |





