








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 765 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 417 matches | ||
| Faceit | 229 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5906 | 23% |
| Smokes | 7684 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6304 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5831 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,619,366 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 622 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Kati0N✪ | 64% | 80 |
| #2 | ✪ R!pper | | 60% | 82 |
| #3 | Shane | 59% | 68 |
| #4 | (ง •`_´•)ง | 58% | 137 |
| #5 | Pautos | 57% | 227 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | GELLERT | 45% | 86 |
| #17 | -Trash | 42% | 45 |
| #18 | BubbeLess | 40% | 45 |
| #19 | Hjorth | 39% | 59 |
| #20 | Chreden | 38% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -R0xy- | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | NuggetGuardian | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | iP_ | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Pautos | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | GELLERT | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pautos | 579 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | NuggetGuardian | 543 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | Chairface | 518 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #4 | -R0xy- | 497 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #5 | GELLERT | 324 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pautos | +3.09 | 82 | 73 |
| #2 | ✪Kati0N✪ | +1.97 | 85 | 76 |
| #3 | Shane | +1.96 | 81 | 62 |
| #4 | Orbe | +1.38 | 88 | 64 |
| #5 | iP_ | +0.67 | 41 | 74 |





