








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 832 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 487 matches | ||
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 144 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8135 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,915 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3968 | 17% |
| Smokes | 6089 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8054 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 4804 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,610,271 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iP_ | 59% | 94 |
| #2 | nima | 57% | 56 |
| #3 | Waldbjoern | 56% | 79 |
| #4 | Birdsong | 55% | 245 |
| #5 | RicoMynne | 53% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pautos | 17 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | (ง •`_´•)ง | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | -R0xy- | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Chairface | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Birdsong | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pautos | 1431 | 0.11 | 36 min |
| #2 | Chairface | 1163 | 0.17 | 33 min |
| #3 | Waldbjoern | 568 | 0.33 | 14 min |
| #4 | Birdsong | 514 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #5 | (ง •`_´•)ง | 410 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pautos | +3.39 | 82 | 72 |
| #2 | Waldbjoern | +2.30 | 86 | 74 |
| #3 | RicoMynne | +1.48 | 81 | 71 |
| #4 | iP_ | +1.17 | 48 | 73 |
| #5 | Birdsong | +0.36 | 55 | 67 |





