








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2741 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 634 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 133 matches | ||
| Wingman | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




152 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15438 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12673 | 30% |
| Smokes | 10871 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8741 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 9669 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,914,969 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8954 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Kɪʟʟᴜᴀシ | 51% | 500 |
| #5 | PatoSins | 51% | 336 |
| #6 | SaschkoOo | 51% | 295 |
| #7 | melinaa181 | 46% | 121 |
| #8 | ℒℒ𝓎𝓇𝒾𝒶 | 42% | 97 |





