








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
690 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,078 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 253 | 23% |
| Smokes | 188 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 364 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 273 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $163,815 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Crackforest | 60% | 30 |
| #8 | Whackforest | 56% | 16 |
| #9 | GamerGrandpa - HatschiBu | 50% | 4 |
| #10 | NaylZ | 50% | 4 |
| #11 | FGT | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Charles P. Scene | 5 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | FUCK OFF | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Crackforest | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | FGT | 1 | 1.0000 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Charles P. Scene | 49 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | FUCK OFF | 45 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Crackforest | 27 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | frankyyy* | 21 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Whackforest | 9 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bstN- | +6.36 | 97 | 35 |
| #2 | Flamongo | +4.73 | 80 | 58 |
| #3 | frankyyy* | +4.45 | 87 | 61 |
| #4 | NaylZ | +2.01 | 46 | 12 |
| #5 | Crackforest | +0.31 | 63 | 51 |





