








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
675 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 467 | 28% |
| Smokes | 441 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 175 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 612 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $163,335 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sev | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | Snow Quack | 86% | 7 |
| #3 | fowl | 82% | 11 |
| #4 | mjc | 78% | 9 |
| #5 | Pat | 71% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Adept | 50% | 10 |
| #15 | [B]ennyS | 47% | 15 |
| #16 | ✪ Avid | 43% | 14 |
| #17 | Aiendar | 33% | 12 |
| #18 | Yuki | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tej | 1 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Yuki | 1 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | mjc | 1 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | flux | 1 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Avid | 69 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #2 | 1sd | 55 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #3 | [B]ennyS | 53 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | ☁Sparky☁ | 47 | 0.37 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pat | 42 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☁Sparky☁ | +7.38 | 93 | 86 |
| #2 | 1sd | +4.62 | 73 | 57 |
| #3 | Tag McGee | +3.39 | 88 | 68 |
| #4 | The Constipated | +3.25 | 86 | 75 |
| #5 | Snow Quack | +2.98 | 90 | 51 |





