








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,057 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 613 | 20% |
| Smokes | 858 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 825 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 761 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $465,080 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | THEJNGG0D | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | Dorfschmied | 65% | 17 |
| #4 | Qu4ck | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | cr1zy | 47% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | THEJNGG0D | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | Dorfschmied | 65% | 17 |
| #4 | Qu4ck | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | cr1zy | 47% | 57 |
| #6 | Tripple | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cr1zy | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Qu4ck | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Dorfschmied | 3 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Noname | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Tripple | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qu4ck | 119 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #2 | cr1zy | 81 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | THEJNGG0D | 46 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dorfschmied | 19 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Noname | 18 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qu4ck | +2.04 | 72 | 66 |
| #2 | THEJNGG0D | +1.41 | 74 | 76 |
| #3 | Noname | +1.05 | 71 | 59 |
| #4 | cr1zy | +0.51 | 88 | 34 |
| #5 | XyM | +0.19 | 84 | 42 |





