










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 722 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2553 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,656 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 714 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1063 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 996 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 883 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,679,668 of utility $277 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Onetap Godness | 52% | 75 |
| #7 | β
ππ²πΌπΎπππ¨ | 51% | 81 |
| #8 | Osiris! | 51% | 178 |
| #9 | ruusunen | 49% | 74 |
| #10 | TonyBet | 47% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TonyBet | 22 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | Osiris! | 18 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | β
ππ²πΌπΎπππ¨ | 15 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | ruusunen | 13 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | Folk γ | 4 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osiris! | 871 | 0.24 | 20 min |
| #2 | ruusunen | 328 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | β
ππ²πΌπΎπππ¨ | 292 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | TonyBet | 212 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Folk γ | 90 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Folk γ | +2.70 | 75 | 59 |
| #2 | EVERSTI SANDELS | +2.23 | 61 | 33 |
| #3 | Osiris! | +2.16 | 65 | 53 |
| #4 | N I P S U | +2.09 | 57 | 46 |
| #5 | π΅πππγ€ | +0.90 | 79 | 35 |





