








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2080 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 552 matches | ||
| Wingman | 137 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




89 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8717 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,017 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10405 | 39% |
| Smokes | 7972 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3040 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 5600 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,681,284 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4082 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EVERSTI SANDELS | 54% | 145 |
| #2 | Folk γ | 54% | 54 |
| #3 | ruusunen | 53% | 163 |
| #4 | β
ππ²πΌπΎπππ¨ | 53% | 154 |
| #5 | Onetap Godness | 51% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β
ππ²πΌπΎπππ¨ | 28 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | ruusunen | 22 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | TonyBet | 22 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | EVERSTI SANDELS | 15 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Folk γ | 5 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ruusunen | 588 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | β
ππ²πΌπΎπππ¨ | 498 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | TonyBet | 220 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | EVERSTI SANDELS | 184 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Folk γ | 125 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Folk γ | +1.84 | 73 | 56 |
| #2 | Osiris! | +1.34 | 67 | 49 |
| #3 | EVERSTI SANDELS | +0.70 | 58 | 25 |
| #4 | π΅πππγ€ | +0.33 | 79 | 34 |
| #5 | TonyBet | -0.93 | 35 | 33 |





