








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1467 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,014 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1200 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1105 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 732 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 977 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $392,390 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SWOOSH! | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | 氷熊 | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | ROMAN EMPIRE | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | magbanana | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | jshinee | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ROMAN EMPIRE | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | magbanana | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | jshinee | 40% | 15 |
| #6 | ispare | 38% | 8 |
| #7 | ozzy | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ROMAN EMPIRE | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | jshinee | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | SWOOSH! | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ROMAN EMPIRE | 97 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | ozzy | 46 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | ispare | 43 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #4 | jshinee | 36 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | magbanana | 35 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ozzy | +2.55 | 78 | 68 |
| #2 | SWOOSH! | +1.66 | 83 | 44 |
| #3 | ispare | +0.19 | 61 | 70 |
| #4 | jshinee | -0.41 | 50 | 67 |
| #5 | magbanana | -0.50 | 60 | 61 |





