








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 237 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2425 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,759 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3299 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2886 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1035 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 2539 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $891,330 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 氷熊 | 60% | 45 |
| #2 | TV | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | magbanana | 51% | 160 |
| #4 | Σ | 50% | 133 |
| #5 | ozzy | 50% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ozzy | 50% | 208 |
| #6 | ispare | 49% | 166 |
| #7 | tsogooooo | 48% | 23 |
| #8 | jshinee | 48% | 250 |
| #9 | SWOOSH! | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jshinee | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | ozzy | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Σ | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | ispare | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | magbanana | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ozzy | 1009 | 0.23 | 26 min |
| #2 | ispare | 662 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #3 | jshinee | 543 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | magbanana | 498 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #5 | Σ | 272 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ozzy | +2.84 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | tsogooooo | +2.83 | 71 | 57 |
| #3 | magbanana | +0.36 | 67 | 62 |
| #4 | ispare | +0.29 | 66 | 70 |
| #5 | SWOOSH! | +0.05 | 80 | 55 |





