








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 631 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,888 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4723 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3538 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1900 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2727 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $611,768 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 300 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 氷熊 | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | TV | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | magbanana | 55% | 120 |
| #4 | ispare | 53% | 146 |
| #5 | hopie | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ROMAN EMPIRE | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | jshinee | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Σ | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | ispare | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | magbanana | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ROMAN EMPIRE | 654 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | ispare | 604 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #3 | jshinee | 442 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | magbanana | 384 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #5 | Σ | 236 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ozzy | +2.94 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | bb | +2.15 | 64 | 61 |
| #3 | magbanana | +0.36 | 67 | 63 |
| #4 | ispare | +0.22 | 64 | 71 |
| #5 | hopie | -0.03 | 74 | 61 |





