








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 239 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2184 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,698 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3186 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2188 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1131 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1193 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $465,476 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 549 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A^2 | 64% | 33 |
| #2 | Nickilegs | 55% | 64 |
| #3 | DaiLo | 54% | 83 |
| #4 | hob0 | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | toasT | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | breddie | 44% | 34 |
| #10 | sly | 44% | 25 |
| #11 | alex | 43% | 21 |
| #12 | Mars | 40% | 42 |
| #13 | ✿soki✿ | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nickilegs | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | urmuffinsrburnin | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | toasT | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | hob0 | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | breddie | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nickilegs | 226 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | breddie | 204 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #3 | urmuffinsrburnin | 172 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | A^2 | 112 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | hob0 | 85 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alex | +2.95 | 78 | 47 |
| #2 | A^2 | +2.89 | 65 | 71 |
| #3 | toasT | +2.08 | 62 | 41 |
| #4 | Glorp | +2.03 | 52 | 56 |
| #5 | sly | +0.76 | 44 | 52 |





