








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 595 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4094 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2074 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2944 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2320 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2618 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $717,691 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 898 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P00rP0werC0meP00rResp0nsibility6 | 60% | 47 |
| #2 | olive | 59% | 37 |
| #3 | SayWut| | 49% | 59 |
| #4 | Glorp | 49% | 43 |
| #5 | Nickilegs | 48% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nickilegs | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | A^2 | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Glorp | 6 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | DaiLo | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | hob0 | 3 | 0.0011 |





