








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1651 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 588 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 113 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 46,683 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18659 | 40% |
| Smokes | 14100 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 7655 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 6269 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,053,890 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1683 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✿soki✿ | 59% | 85 |
| #2 | hob0 | 56% | 441 |
| #3 | Desert fox | 56% | 170 |
| #4 | A^2 | 56% | 187 |
| #5 | Glorp | 55% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Glorp | 55% | 64 |
| #6 | DaiLo | 53% | 620 |
| #7 | SayWut| | 50% | 145 |
| #8 | toasT | 48% | 157 |
| #9 | spacesaL | 43% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaiLo | 19 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | hob0 | 11 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Desert fox | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | spacesaL | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | A^2 | 5 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hob0 | 1146 | 0.13 | 26 min |
| #2 | A^2 | 517 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #3 | spacesaL | 479 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #4 | Desert fox | 269 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | Glorp | 208 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A^2 | +2.73 | 68 | 69 |
| #2 | toasT | +2.47 | 62 | 42 |
| #3 | Desert fox | +1.40 | 71 | 53 |
| #4 | Glorp | +1.30 | 52 | 59 |
| #5 | hob0 | +0.98 | 66 | 56 |





