








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
434 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 663 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 284 | 43% |
| Smokes | 103 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 206 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 70 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $259,248 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 343 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | michlay | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | wheathans | 47% | 19 |
| #3 | Fetty | 41% | 34 |
| #4 | MaFnNewports | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | abhilious | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fetty | 11 | 0.0164 |
| #2 | Joit | 8 | 0.0119 |
| #3 | ban | 6 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | wheathans | 6 | 0.0163 |
| #5 | michlay | 4 | 0.0149 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | michlay | +3.73 | 75 | 51 |
| #2 | wheathans | +2.97 | 43 | 33 |
| #3 | Fetty | +2.67 | 59 | 41 |
| #4 | MaFnNewports | +1.35 | 73 | 37 |
| #5 | Joit | -0.10 | 35 | 49 |





