








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
747 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1088 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1069 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 802 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 959 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $179,445 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GRR.- | 60% | 43 |
| #2 | d0k | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | Snow^^ | 55% | 38 |
| #4 | jmzr | 55% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GRR.- | 60% | 43 |
| #2 | d0k | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | Snow^^ | 55% | 38 |
| #4 | jmzr | 55% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d0k | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | jmzr | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | GRR.- | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d0k | 151 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | Snow^^ | 118 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | GRR.- | 111 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | jmzr | 68 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d0k | +1.84 | 80 | 73 |
| #2 | GRR.- | +1.74 | 84 | 69 |
| #3 | BIGP | +1.09 | 82 | 77 |
| #4 | jmzr | -1.01 | 64 | 65 |
| #5 | Snow^^ | -1.03 | 81 | 76 |





