








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
965 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,089 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 608 | 20% |
| Smokes | 947 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 664 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 870 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $196,876 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schmodda on YT | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | GRR.- | 67% | 66 |
| #3 | Snow^^ | 64% | 69 |
| #4 | d0k | 61% | 46 |
| #5 | lepicah | 56% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Snow^^ | 64% | 69 |
| #4 | d0k | 61% | 46 |
| #5 | lepicah | 56% | 16 |
| #6 | BIGP | 55% | 38 |
| #7 | Zoju | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GRR.- | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | d0k | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Snow^^ | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | lepicah | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIGP | 221 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #2 | Snow^^ | 216 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | GRR.- | 193 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | d0k | 172 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | lepicah | 15 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GRR.- | +3.03 | 86 | 71 |
| #2 | jmzr | +2.32 | 73 | 62 |
| #3 | d0k | +1.54 | 77 | 73 |
| #4 | Snow^^ | +0.09 | 79 | 73 |
| #5 | Zoju | -0.27 | 75 | 43 |





