








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Esplay | 10 matches | 1,826 | |
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1492 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,492 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 861 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1346 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1040 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1245 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $577,039 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BasiBurminen | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | iFision | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | B0RG4R1 | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | JrJaviss | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | chroni | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | usetobeglobal | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Veldor | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Jakaure | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Aemonn | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | UMPpanen45 | 2 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | usetobeglobal | 231 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | Veldor | 130 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Psycho Mantis | 120 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jakaure | 110 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Froxter | 74 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ANTEROKRAFT | +2.47 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | iFision | +2.44 | 96 | 69 |
| #3 | usetobeglobal | +1.80 | 78 | 69 |
| #4 | chroni | +1.54 | 63 | 50 |
| #5 | UMPpanen45 | +1.35 | 67 | 49 |





