








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
621 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 560 | 26% |
| Smokes | 700 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 481 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 414 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $234,558 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BasiBurminen | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | B0RG4R1 | 86% | 7 |
| #3 | Froxter | 83% | 6 |
| #4 | chroni | 73% | 11 |
| #5 | Dingotail | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | usetobeglobal | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | aXL00 | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Aemonn | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Veldor | 1 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Jakaure | 1 | 0.0115 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | usetobeglobal | 110 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | ༼つ◕__◕ ༽つ | 62 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Veldor | 40 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Aemonn | 37 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | aXL00 | 33 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jakaure | +2.42 | 95 | 54 |
| #2 | ANTEROKRAFT | +2.33 | 79 | 55 |
| #3 | chroni | +1.58 | 68 | 52 |
| #4 | usetobeglobal | +1.06 | 75 | 73 |
| #5 | Psycho Mantis | +0.87 | 73 | 68 |





