








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 381 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,516 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 747 | 21% |
| Smokes | 523 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 867 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1379 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $224,641 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | saska hater | 41% | 133 |
| #5 | F0XI3 | 26% | 39 |
| #6 | A L E | 25% | 12 |
| #7 | eeterbert | 22% | 27 |
| #8 | muurahais lassi | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saska hater | 26 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | Happyhippo53 | 11 | 0.0274 |
| #3 | eeterbert | 8 | 0.0163 |
| #4 | Frieren | 8 | 0.0166 |
| #5 | F0XI3 | 4 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saska hater | 92 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | Happyhippo53 | 55 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | F0XI3 | 51 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Frieren | 44 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | muurahais lassi | 31 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Happyhippo53 | +7.39 | 84 | 56 |
| #2 | F0XI3 | +6.06 | 74 | 42 |
| #3 | saska hater | +2.69 | 48 | 19 |
| #4 | A L E | +2.66 | 66 | 41 |
| #5 | Frieren | +2.10 | 72 | 43 |





