








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 453 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3710 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,622 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2722 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2701 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 5687 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 3512 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $338,548 of utility $30 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 445 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Jerry (off a perc30) | 64% | 39 |
| #2 | Felix | 62% | 52 |
| #3 | cf2099 | 61% | 49 |
| #4 | Premier Daniel Andrews | 55% | 185 |
| #5 | ✪ George | 53% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Abdu Rozik | 49% | 45 |
| #7 | ✪ Zero2 | 48% | 31 |
| #8 | Piper | 48% | 46 |
| #9 | Pickle | 43% | 46 |
| #10 | Nutout | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Jerry (off a perc30) | 25 | 0.0318 |
| #2 | ✪ George | 12 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | ✪ Zero2 | 12 | 0.0194 |
| #4 | Nutout | 9 | 0.0160 |
| #5 | Felix | 7 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Premier Daniel Andrews | 291 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #2 | ✪ Jerry (off a perc30) | 158 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Pickle | 128 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪ Zero2 | 99 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | ✪ George | 85 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Jerry (off a perc30) | +4.80 | 84 | 78 |
| #2 | ✪ Zero2 | +3.07 | 86 | 74 |
| #3 | Felix | +2.86 | 63 | 52 |
| #4 | Piper | +2.76 | 72 | 61 |
| #5 | cf2099 | +0.90 | 50 | 54 |





