








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 415 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3638 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,684 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2092 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4096 | 47% |
| HE Grenades | 1422 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1074 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,408,646 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 244 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Jerry (off a perc30) | 63% | 38 |
| #2 | Felix | 62% | 52 |
| #3 | Pickle | 56% | 41 |
| #4 | Half Cut | 55% | 185 |
| #5 | Abdu Rozik | 46% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Abdu Rozik | 46% | 72 |
| #6 | Piper | 45% | 31 |
| #7 | ✪ George | 43% | 37 |
| #8 | space man | 43% | 72 |
| #9 | Nutout | 35% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nutout | 23 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | space man | 23 | 0.0154 |
| #3 | ✪ Jerry (off a perc30) | 23 | 0.0289 |
| #4 | Abdu Rozik | 12 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | Felix | 11 | 0.0103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Half Cut | 289 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #2 | Nutout | 171 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | ✪ Jerry (off a perc30) | 165 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | Pickle | 107 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Abdu Rozik | 85 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Jerry (off a perc30) | +4.54 | 83 | 76 |
| #2 | Piper | +3.75 | 70 | 58 |
| #3 | Felix | +2.38 | 65 | 48 |
| #4 | Half Cut | +0.51 | 44 | 55 |
| #5 | Premier Daniel Andrews | +0.05 | 68 | 44 |





