








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1166 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,098 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1619 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3276 | 46% |
| HE Grenades | 1241 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 962 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $251,171 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pregant goku | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | bye 👋🙂 | 71% | 24 |
| #3 | Slawdawg | 56% | 117 |
| #4 | gb | 55% | 80 |
| #5 | SamuraiFowest | 52% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | bye 👋🙂 | 71% | 24 |
| #3 | Slawdawg | 56% | 117 |
| #4 | gb | 55% | 80 |
| #5 | SamuraiFowest | 52% | 77 |
| #6 | typh00n | 48% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slawdawg | 15 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | gb | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | typh00n | 5 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | bye 👋🙂 | 5 | 0.0103 |
| #5 | SamuraiFowest | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slawdawg | 165 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | gb | 111 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | pregant goku | 65 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | typh00n | 57 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | bye 👋🙂 | 45 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pregant goku | +7.17 | 87 | 58 |
| #2 | bye 👋🙂 | +4.65 | 84 | 47 |
| #3 | gb | +2.94 | 63 | 50 |
| #4 | typh00n | +1.54 | 68 | 56 |
| #5 | Slawdawg | +0.03 | 61 | 53 |





