










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 891 | 32% |
| Smokes | 761 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 514 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 600 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $461,063 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 氷熊 | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | magbanana | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | jshinee | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | ispare | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | ozzy | 59% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | jshinee | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | ispare | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | ozzy | 59% | 29 |
| #6 | ROMAN EMPIRE | 55% | 33 |
| #7 | Σ | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Σ | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | ROMAN EMPIRE | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | ozzy | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | ispare | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | 氷熊 | 1 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ozzy | 140 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | ispare | 105 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | ROMAN EMPIRE | 89 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Σ | 67 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | magbanana | 48 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ozzy | +3.78 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | 氷熊 | +2.37 | 66 | 37 |
| #3 | magbanana | +0.94 | 69 | 64 |
| #4 | ispare | -0.10 | 58 | 69 |
| #5 | TV | -0.80 | 54 | 50 |





