








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 887 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4084 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,890 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4637 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4072 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2172 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3009 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $837,256 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 262 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hawkie | 78% | 27 |
| #2 | 🅳🆉✘ | 77% | 26 |
| #3 | ttv/iceyyyyy_za | 74% | 35 |
| #4 | Maliboo_88 | 59% | 39 |
| #5 | Dyno | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ttv/iceyyyyy_za | 74% | 35 |
| #4 | Maliboo_88 | 59% | 39 |
| #5 | Dyno | 55% | 20 |
| #6 | | ProteinBeast | | 54% | 48 |
| #7 | FoX | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hawkie | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | 🅳🆉✘ | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | FoX | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Maliboo_88 | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hawkie | 141 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #2 | ttv/iceyyyyy_za | 120 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | | ProteinBeast | | 102 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Dyno | 93 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | 🅳🆉✘ | 87 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hawkie | +4.57 | 90 | 69 |
| #2 | ttv/iceyyyyy_za | +2.54 | 89 | 71 |
| #3 | Decay | +2.43 | 85 | 70 |
| #4 | 🅳🆉✘ | +1.88 | 79 | 70 |
| #5 | | ProteinBeast | | -1.44 | 49 | 80 |





